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Titulo: Jewish rules for dating

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Publicado: Saturday 18 de April de 2026, 18:41 Hello, Guest! Article about jewish rules for dating: Modern novels, movies, magazines, and television programs which fantasize and glorify the notion of “romantic love” are describing a type of ideal relationship that may LOVE, DATING, AND ROMANCE. Modern novels, movies, magazines, and television programs which fantasize and glorify the notion of “romantic love” are describing a type of ideal relationship that may exist in literary form or in the poetic imagination, but which bears very little resemblance to what love is all about in the everyday world of real life. People who read love stories or watch television programs should realize that while courtship, chivalry, romance and passion do play their separate and respective roles in the dramatic awakening and eventual attainment of satisfaction in love, these are all elements in a process, but they do not by any means add up to the whole of the love experience. GO TO SITE Nor is romantic love an end in itself, so that it cannot and should not be accepted in defense of any type of behavior in any male-female relationship which is less than a properly controlled one. Such explanations as “We couldn’t help ourselves, we just fell in love”, or “we didn’t realize what was happening” are excuses, not reasons, because people usually do realize very well indeed, what is happening, they all too often try to convince themselves that certain forms of intimacy are justified because the two individuals concerned happen to be truly in love. To fool oneself through this tactic is to lose control over oneself. Romantic love is not always related to real love, especially when it ignores the true personalities and mutual interest of those involved. To be ruled by one’s emotions and feelings, uncontrolled and undirected by logic, values and clear thinking, with no clear sense of goals and responsibility, is to ignore the only factors which can establish a firm foundation for a permanent and mature life-long relationship. The theme repeated everywhere in novels and movies is that “I am in love and my love is beyond my control”, “I fell in love”, it was as though someone pushed me off a cliff and it was all accidental and unintentional. The Jewish approach warns us not to “love in spite of yourself”, but to love “because of yourself”. Find out what you’re headed for. Enter into the love relationship with your eyes open, not with your eyes closed. Don’t accept blind dates, unless you know who the potential partner is. If you find that you are “falling”, realize while your eyes are still open, while you can still think clearly and objectively, who this person is for whom you are falling. By whom, I refer to background, commitment, education, character, personality, family, friends, values, concern for others, goals and ideals—the things that really count—not the external, superficial things, some of which may be “put on”. Fall in love with the real person inside the skin. Fall in love deliberately, with control, not on the rebound, or because you’re simply “in love with love”. Fall in love only after you have come to know yourself, not because you feel insecure and think “no one loves me”, and not because you don’t get along with your parents and are anxious to leave home. Don’t let your craving for acceptance or love lead you to throw yourself at the first person who gives you a tumble or is “pliable” in physical conduct. All this is a matter of decency, honesty and fairness to yourself, to the other person involved, and to your family and Jewish tradition. It is a pre-condition of authentic and lasting love. Let the woman use her “feminine charm”, it’s her legitimate prerogative, a healthy manifestation of her femininity. It’s quite one thing to be charmed by it, but don’t be taken in don’t let it blind you, don’t fall for it. If you take the romantic love angle too seriously, you will lose your proper place in the marital relationship and, with it, lose your dignity and your role as master of your destiny. Young men, too, often employ a trickery more harmful and more dangerous than that employed by women. There is no ultimate danger if a girl employs her femininity to charm a young man into turning a fleeting interest into a more serious one. Young men, however, sometimes deceive a young woman into thinking that they are in love, while all they want is a physical relationship. Intimacy without true love, commitment and permanence is a price too high to pay. Friendship Before Marriage. Why does Jewish Tradition demand that the relationship between men and women before marriage stop at the point of physical contact? And why is such restraint, forbidding even mere “touching” (or negiah in Hebrew), so crucial a factor in the successful observance of those laws that define the Jewish standards of family loyalty and interpersonal relationships? Jewish law states that once a young woman begins menstruating, she assumes the status of nidah, and remains, from that point on, “off limits”, in regard to physical contact with men, until the day of her marriage. Just prior to her marriage ceremony she removes the nidah status, in accordance with Jewish law, by immersing herself in the waters of a mikveh (a body of water used only for spiritual sanctification), and may then be approached by her husband. As a married woman she becomes nidah once again with each onset of a menstrual period, and marital relations must then be suspended until she immerses herself, once more, in a mikveh, at least one week after the completion of each menstrual period. It will be acknowledged, even by those unaware of this law, that the sense of touch in male-female relationships often constitutes a type of borderline where simple association begins to pass from the area of friendship into the area of intimacy. In any male-female relationship, it is easier to maintain self control up to the point of physical contact because, from the moment of contact on, control becomes much more difficult. Also, once the principle of ‘no contact’ has been violated, there are often no other barriers effective enough in helping two people to restrain themselves from further kinds of involvement that could lead naturally to a intimacy. A physical relationship is an essential element in the binding together of two people in marriage. Before marriage, however, physical contact has the effect of forging bonds without sincere commitment. [Therefore, objectivity is distorted, and the essential relationship becomes confused…are we really headed towards commitment? Are his words, “I care only for what’s best for you” grounded?] Any sort of physical contact or intimacy, as it brings people closer together, tends to bind—a kind of glue as it were—but as glue should be used to bind together only when a permanent bond is decided upon, physical contact should begin only after the marriage itself. Some people will claim, with reasonable justification, that some of the social practices which Jewish law prohibits, such as hand holding, social dancing, and good-night kissing, are simply matters of form or social grace, which people perform without attaching to them any great significance. It is precisely this point that we are attempting to make. As Jews, we take relationships between people much more seriously than does “society”. Jewish society cannot tolerate a situation where a young woman, or a young man lets her or himself be used, taken advantage of, or hurt. Nor can we accept, for all the casualness of society, that kissing, or any form of expressing affection, can ever be regarded lightheartedly or as a game or social grace. Most people who have dated know that even a casual good-night kiss is just a beginning. The nature of kissing and touching is such that it calls for more and more . . .once you begin, it is hard to stop. Orthodox jewish dating rules Dating jewish rules Israeli dating rules

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