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Publicado: Saturday 04 de April de 2026, 16:55 Hello, visitor! Article: Why do average-looking guys hit on me like they have a chance? I',m too hot for this. Why Do Average-Looking Men Think They Have a Chance With Me? Click here for hot women seeking men I’m an attractive and intelligent woman in my mid-30s. To a certain extent, I know these things to be true. I’ve worked for 15 years as a successful commercial model, and I have a master’s degree and an above-average IQ. I’m in incredible shape. Also important to add: I definitely don’t come across as modest or sexually conservative. I post lingerie and bikini selfies. I get a lot of emotional and intellectual fulfillment from my relationships with friends and family. When I date, my primary interest is finding partners who excite me physically and fulfill me sexually. For reasons I don’t understand, I rarely attract these men anymore. The men who flock to me, asking me out to the tune of several times a week (!), are average- or below-average-looking smart guys. These men have everything I’m looking for in a friend, but they aren’t what I want in a dating partner. My take is that they think my academic interests and penchant for elevated conversation will make me fall for them despite an obvious attractiveness gap. If I was looking for a marriage partner or someone to start a family with, that might be true. But I’m not! I want hot sex with semi-committed medium-term partners. It sounds odd, but recently this non-stop attention from average-looking guys has started to eat away at my self-esteem. Instead of feeling flattered that they connect with me intellectually, I question whether interest from only this type of man means I’m not actually attractive. Again, they are great people! I just don’t want to have sex with them. What can I do to attract the type of man I actually want to date? And how can I stop myself from feeling so insecure about the type of attention I’m getting in the meantime? Stoya : I’m wondering if this woman has ever made the first move herself. Rich : My thoughts exactly. She writes passively about connecting with men (“I rarely attract these men anymore,” “The men who flock to me”). Stoya : You’re not a flower, you’re a human. You aren’t rooted to the ground. You have agency and theoretical equality in this arena. Get the How to Do It Newsletter. Sex advice from Stoya and Rich, delivered weekly. Thanks for signing up! You can manage your newsletter subscriptions at any time. Rich : Also, her survey isn’t scientific. It’s missing a control, which prevents a reliable determination of causality. If she’s waiting around to be courted, well, guys who aren’t considered conventionally attractive may be more inclined to put themselves out there, because they fear or experience getting nowhere waiting around for a mate themselves. Stoya : Exactly. Average-looking men tend to know that dating is a numbers game. Rich : Some people have figured out that they can’t get what they want without asking for it. Life has a way of teaching you that lesson. Stoya : Haha, yes. Rich : Also, that effort these average-looking guys are putting forth may operate like, or very well be, charisma. In a sense, it’s compensatory. Stoya : I want to rant about hot-chick syndrome for a moment. Rich : Please do. Stoya : A long time ago, I went to Serbia and posted a picture of snow. (I swear I’m going somewhere with this.) Rich : lol. Stoya : The Belgrade Programmers Club saw the photo and reached out to invite me to visit because at least one of the members was a fan. When I showed up at the club they were like “Whaaaaat?” And then the fan, a couple of hours later, goes “I think I get it. Nobody asks pretty girls to do things.” Which is almost true. Rich : There’s the assumption that if you’re hot, you’re busy/spoken for/otherwise unapproachable. Stoya : Yes. Simultaneously, though, there’s all this noise. “Hey, do you want to go to Hawaii?” “Hey, can I feed you oysters?” This is where it really gets into a syndrome. We get overwhelmed by requests that we don’t want and develop this kind of learned helplessness with going after what we do want because we’re so busy saying no to activities and people we don’t want. Hot women looking for men Hot women seeking men

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